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Songs to Describe the Autistic Experience

Updated: May 8, 2024

Music is one of the best ways to express ourselves.


If you've ever wondered what it feels like to be Autistic, here are a few of my favorite songs that describe the feeling.



Pink (Freak) by Elliot Le

Lyrics

"Uh oh, forgot how to breathe for a sec

and you think I'm fine because how I dress

doesn't reflect that.

You say I'm blue when I cry

but you can't see sad with your eyes.


I've tried to be what people think of when they see me,

That gave me an ego that wasn't even mine, though.

Yeah, I know I look fine

but you can't see sad with your eyes.


Don't wanna wait in your queue

I don't understand all your rules

Don't look like

Don't act like

Don't see the world in the way that you do.


How I present represents what's on the inside

You don't understand, though

You wade in the shallow.

Everything's pink in my mind

So you can't see sad with your eyes."


The lyrics talk about not fitting in and having a mask to hide the inner self. This song is an excellent metaphor for masking not only autism, but depression and transgender expression, which are both closely related concepts.


Lee uses the contrasting imagery of pink and blue, which have cultural connotations with both gender and mood. They talk about being blue and sad, but being called a "Freak" for wearing pink to be true to their inner self. With regards to autistic people, we can further ponder the gender disparities in neurodivergent recognition and diagnosis.


Expectations by Belle and Sebastian


"And the Head said that you always were a queer one from the start

For careers you say you want to be remembered for your art.

Your obsession gets you known throughout the school for being strange

Making life-size models of the Velvet Underground in clay.

...

Hey, you're being used

Are you calm? Settle down

Write a song, I'll sing along

Soon you will know that you are sane

You're on top of the world again

...

At the interval, you lock yourself

Away inside a room

Head of English gets you, asks you

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Do you think you're better than the other kids?

Well, get outside!"

You've got permission, but you've got to

Make the bastard think he's right."


A lot of what Autistic people struggle with is expectations. If we were allowed to exist quietly, hand-flappingly, left largely to our own devices without having to explain ourselves, we would be fine... if you threw a bit of food and water at us from time to time.


But we're generally not. We're expected to go to school and work, to make eye contact and chat about the weather and wear nice shoes to church.


I often hear "the headset that you always wear" and think of my trusty Bose headphones.


overwhelmed by Royal and the Serpent


"Turn off the T.V, it's starting to freak me

Out it's so loud, it's like my ears are bleeding

What am I feeling? Can't look at the ceiling

Light is so bright, it's like I'm over-heating.

...

I get overwhelmed so easily

My anxiety keeps me silent

When I try to speak

What's come over me?

Feels like I'm somebody elseI get overwhelmed.


All of these faces who don't know what space is

And crowds are shut down, I'm over-stimulated

Nobody gets it, say I'm too sensitive

I can't listen 'cause I'm eyeing the exits."


Specifically invoking anxiety, this song is still highly descriptive of Autistic experience. The TV too loud, the ceiling light too bright, surrounded by people who don't give personal space nor ponder outer space.


A Mask of My Own Face by Lemon Demon


"A mask of my own face

I'd wear that

I'd wear that

I'd wear that mask of my own face

...

and nobody would know that I was secretly myself.

...

Look into my eyeholes, what do you see?

I look into my eyeholes and what do I see?

A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me."


Are you still with me? There's little to analyze in the storytelling aspect of this song, but let's take a moment to reflect on what it would be like to actually wear a mask of your own face.


As an Autistic person, I feel like this every day.


People often feel lost without their mask, when they try to unlearn the well-rehearsed neurotypical mannerisms, they don't know who they truly are.


For me, my mask is still me, but that doesn't make it any less exhausting to wear. I still have my same interests, tendencies, personality. But I keep my infodumps short, moderate my volume and speed when I talk. I expend more energy being aware of the people around me, what they might want and need from me and/or our environment. I'm not someone other than myself, but I am a carefully masked version rather than carefree to chatter, stim, dance, or not speak as I feel.



Many of the songs that address the pressures of showbusiness are very relatable for Autistic people because we feel like we must present a public persona that meets the expectations of everyone around us, i.e. performing for our audience.




Jeans by Rubi


"Wake up in my makeup feeling hangry

Cigarette for breakfast cause I'm lazy

Time to dumb it down so you hear me

Oh, hold up, hold up


Spending hours posing for a photo

Living in a screen to make my promo

Counting all these follows make me low low, so low


Jeans too tight, too skinny for me

The size is right, but it doesn't fit me

Tripping on these eyes, checking out me

Gotta be a baddie or they hating on me


What you think about me?

I see you checking out my blue jeans

What you think about me

Now?"


I find this song relatable for anyone feeling the pressures of social media image management, not only those with internet fame. I for one am very careful with my relationship with Instagram.


People I Don't Like by UPSAHL

Pretty good impression of attending a neurotypical party as an autistic person. Go to an Autistic party though, and you can play DnD, simply walk away from conversations you don't want to be in, find the dog and have some snacks.



freak flag by Royal and the Serpent


"Bathin' in my bullshit

Since I was a schoolkid

Always been a wild card used to feeling useless

...

Reasons that they hate me are reasons that I love me

People tried to break me, told me I was ugly

They said I had no chance, look who's gettin' lucky

Wavin' down from cloud nine, floatin' where the doves be


I'm'a let my freak flag fly

High up in the big blue sky

They say I'm a weirdo, no no no

I'm a superhero, woah-oh-oh"


Expressing the feelings of being out of place is excellent and important, but I love that this song also captures the joy of embracing the true weird inside, living out loud and proud.



Storm by S. J. Tucker


"People treat you differently

when they believe you've gone

where they could never go,

Seen beyond the kind horizon

of the only life they know.

...

Better off just following your footsteps on."




 
 
 

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